A thank you note to gun rights supporters from the Future Mass Murderers of America. By George L. Cook III AA reports.com
To the N.R.A. and all of the guns rights supporters out there.
Hello. I am the president of the FMMA. The Future Mass Murderers of America. Our motto is “Guns don’t kill people, we do with the help of guns.”
I am writing to day to thank all of the gun rights supporters out there. It is because of your efforts that many of us will be able to murder dozens at one time. We could not do this without your help. We could not do this without assault weapons and high capacity magazines. The fact that you guys have made it possible for mentally unstable people like ourselves to obtain these things is a great thing. Although even we question your sanity in doing so.
To be honest in many cases the only things standing between us and buying an assault rifle is a suspicious gun store owner. We will take those odds every day.
It pleases us to no end to know that weapons made for war can and will find their way into our hands. We will use these weapons for the purpose they were intended. Mass carnage.
If you only knew how happy it makes us when gun rights supporters say that guns don’t kill people, people do. Just so you know we had someone in our PR department come up with that. Even our crazy asses know that guns make killing a whole hell of a lot easier.
Look at the mass stabbings in China recently. Yes that amateur stabbed 22 people but none died. In China they ban guns. How the hell is anyone supposed to become a mass murderer there?
After all of the mass murders this year alone in Aurora, Colorado, Oak Creek, Wisconsin, and now Newton, Connecticut we had emergency meetings in the fear that some politician would grow a set of balls and re-institute the federal ban on assault weapons.
We were wrong those first two times and somethings tells me that we will be wrong again after the Newton shootings. No one will do a damned thing to stop us.
WE WILL GET OUR GUNS! WE WILL KILL YOUR CHILDREN! WE WILL KILL YOUR LOVED ONES!
And the best part is that we will do it with the help of many Americans. The NRA , NSSF ( National Shooting Sports Foundation ) out front leading the charge.
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!
Deranged Bastard and gun rights supporter
DISCLAIMER. Since many on the gun rights side are a little slow I must make it known that the FMMA is a fictional group and this is satire. George L. Cook III firstname.lastname@example.org